Youth discount

I bought a chair last week. A used, somewhat broken chair. At the local Community Thrift as I usually do. Price was $12.00.

Except I was charged $10.80. I was momentarily confused. Usually the sales at Community Thrift are on the first Monday of the month and the amount is usually 25% off. So I asked what was going on. The reply was “Senior Discount”. He thought I looked old and gave me their standard 10% off for old people. I wonder why I’ve never gotten a discount there before. Do I suddenly look older?

But the bigger question is, why do stores give discounts to old people? Is it a reward for lasting that long? Are they surprised that we even managed to make it to the store? Maybe to compensate for the fact that we have gray hair (if we have any hair at all)? Or do they really believe that old people are poor?

Well I do have gray hair and I guess there’s something to be said for stamina, but the idea that old people are poor is definitely false. Here’s the true situation in this country. Median net worth statistics from the government; chart by me.

Old people are better off than young people. By a huge margin. And interestingly the median wealth continues to increase after the normal retirement age. Must be all those municipal workers whose income goes up after they retire because of our excessively generous public pension rules. Or maybe all the poor people die early.

So to make up for all of the “Senior Discounts” that I get in places as varied as buying used furniture or groceries, I’m announcing a “Youth Discount”: 50% off if you’re under 20 and 20% off if you’re under 30. If you’re 29, better hurry and buy lots of art, because in a few months, you’ll be paying full price like all the old folks.

The net worth curve looks something like this, except the curve has a really big butt.

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